Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
