i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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