So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize