I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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