that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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