i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm bleeding and have questions
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
