Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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