ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
why is half of my head shaved?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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