I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
