We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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