I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
