can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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