Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
