hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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