You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had sex on a roof
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
