Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
