found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize