so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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