so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
