It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
