So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
