Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
