my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
