Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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