Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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