I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't make out with my wife yet
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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