i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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