Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
