So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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