He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
