I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize