if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
