when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
