can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
