She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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