Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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