I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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