Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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