Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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