She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
