I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize