i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
