Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
