I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
