I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
