He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
