She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize