I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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