Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
