i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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