i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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