Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
