Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
