I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
