About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
