I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
