oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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