There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
