i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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