It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
