I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
