The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
