yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
