Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
