Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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